April mini favourites (with PICTURES?!)

Hello everyone! I know, it’s been AGES! My life has been crazy busy for the past few months, and I have a ton of exciting things to share with you all. However, I thought it might be nice to dip my toes back in to the blog world with a favourites post. The first week of May is done, but I have tried a bunch of new things throughout the month of April and I can’t wait to share them! Also, I tried taking ~aesthetic~ pictures of some of my faves to just, you know, shake things up a bit!fullsizeoutput_2328

  1. Mane ‘n Tail shampoo and conditioner: I don’t know about you guys, but I have crappy hair. Everyone and their mother probably hates their hair at some point in their life, but recently, I’ve been fed up with mine. That was until I stumbled upon this miracle shampoo and conditioner. I used to see it being advertised in Teen Vogue magazines when I was younger (tbh still obsessed) and I always thought it was for horses. Well it actually is!! Kinda. This stuff can actually be used for human and horse hair and it does not even weird me out! The sent is nothing special but really it’s what inside that counts. I’ve been using this for about a month now and my scraggly, fuzzy, poofy, kinky hair has become stronger, shinier, and all around nicer looking. I feel as if it has more life and it sits just right. I’ve also heard that this baby is great if you are looking to grow your hair, and since I’ve had a shoulder length lob for about a year now, I’m totally up to see it grow! I highly suggest this to anyone whose looking to liven up their hair routine.IMG_0490
  2. Steve Madden leather sandals: Over Easter break, my family took a little vacation to Florida to soak up some sun, seeing as though it has been cold and rainy up here in Canada for months. Before this trip I was on the hunt for the perfect pair of sandals to wear with all my summery outfits. You know that moment when you see something in a store that is exactly what you pictured in your head? Well that was what happened when I saw these babies! They are super comfortable, come in a bunch of colours, and can be dressed up or down. I am so so so excited to get more use of of these in the summer months! Although, fair warning, I had to go a full size up in these. I normally wear a 6.5 but I ended up getting a 7.5, weird right?IMG_0493.JPG
  3. Diorshow mascara: If you’ve been following my blog for a while, you may know I am a high end mascara junkie. It’s pretty much the only high end makeup I will always splurge on, and this is surely no exception! I saw on Pinterest a while ago a post where this was talked about as being one of the “cult classic” mascaras that people have been obsessive over for years. Obviously, I had to go check it out (besides, I was running out of mascara anyways). With the hefty price tag of about 40$ CAD, I really hoped I was going to love it as much as the internet did. And my oh my was I not disappointed! I normally don’t opt for the wire/fluffy brushes, but this one has a HUGE fluffy brush that on one coat gets everything looking like your eyelashes but better. It is also super buildable, which I like and never gets clumpy of flakey. The tube also has a really nice seal on it with actually feels like it is locking when you close it. For a girl who uses my mascaras until they die, I love this! Since the brush is huge, I don’t tend to use it on my bottom lashes, but I have recently discovered the Pixi cosmetics lower lash mascara and WOWZA it is the greatest product for your bottom lashes (even the upper ones look great with this), I just wish it came in a larger tube! I definitely recommend trying these two together!IMG_0491.JPG
  4. Too Faced melted metal lipstick: Despite all I said about that mascara, I am by no means whatsoever a beauty guru. Makeup, as much as I love the idea of it, actually kinda scares me. Whenever I go into a Sephora, I want to buy everything because it is all so pretty, but then I start feeling overwhelmed and leave with a hand full of swatches. But, from my extensive research and my makeup products I want to try but am too scared to buy Pinterest board (yes, it exists), there are some things that I’d be willing to buy if a good opportunity came up. Enter in our trip to Florida and a last on the clearance rack lipstick. I have been ogling over this cute packaging forever and have always wanted to test out one of these melted lip colours. I found this one, albeit not in a shade I would usually pick, on the sale rack for 8$!! The colour is called Melted Dreamhouse and is like a Barbie pink, however it can go on really sheer, how I like it for “everyday” wear. I don’t think this exact colour or metal range is still available, but you can still get these melted lippies in a bunch of other colours, I’d totally opt for Melted Peony, but thats just me!

So that is it for my mini favourites and my jump back into my blog! I hope you guys enjoyed my attempt at adding photos into my posts, I’d love any feedback! Also, feel free to comment any of your favourite products recently because I am always down to try new things!

Love you bunches,

NiceGirl

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Two thousand and seventeen

The curse has finally been lifted, and twenty seventeen is now in full swing. I spent my New Year’s Eve working coatcheck with my oldest, somewhat boring and vanilla friend, and then came home at 2am to a house full of family friends. My sister had two of her school friends sleepover, and amidst my jealousy for her ability to be so relaxed around other people, I was glad the day was over.

If you’ve been with me since the beginning of NiceGirl, you may already know that I don’t do the whole New Year’s resolutions thing for sake of cliche and cheesiness. However, I do tend to think of how I would like to improve my life in the upcoming year. These goals, or resolutions, or whatever you want to call them are essentially an expression of how I feel at the end of a year, and what I aim to do in the upcoming. Nothing is set in stone, but I like documenting it so I can look back a little ways down the road to see how far I’ve come, and to see if anything has changed. I also want to tell you guys my New Year’s goals in the case that they may inspire you, or help you out.

If I were to give my “resolutions” a theme this year, it would have to be ME. Everything that I am trying to accomplish is solely for the selfish purpose of making myself happier. I am a person that gives a lot to other people, and I don’t mean philanthropically. I am so overly concerned about what people think about me, that it impacts every aspect of my life. So, for the upcoming year, I would love to start not giving a crap as to what other people think about me. This goes for being more confident in what I wear, and dressing for me and not trying to impress the mean girls that have made me miserable in the past, this goes for branching out to other people and putting myself out there, this goes for saying yes to new things and not being afraid to meet new people. On top of that, I would love to learn how to actually relax. My old gymnastics coach would always call me “one high-strung little girl” and that is still the case today. Although I want to improve my self-confidence and outlook on life, I know that people don’t really change. I am a poster child for being type-A personality and have anxiety and am high-strung, I know this. So I’m going to try owning it, and not trying to change who I am to be like the other people I deem as “better” because they’re not. One thing that I really would like to be able to do, is to wear something, or do something, or talk about something that I really love, and not care at all if other people think it’s weird. Inside my head, I am the coolest person ever, and I know that there are people out there who will think so too, I just need to stop trying to change myself to please other people, because it won’t ever work. Being comfortable in my own skin is a really tall order for someone of my confidence level, but it is something I want, and know I can do.

The next order or business is chalked down to bravery, and it ties in wonderfully to my last point. I once read on a Lululemon bag; “do one thing a day that scares you” and I really took to the message. There are things that I want to do, dreams that I have and goals in mind that I’ve always been scared to do. For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to model. Now, don’t judge just yet. My whole life, I have been called beautiful. I am slim, and tall, and I have dark blue eyes and dark blonde hair. Despite that, I was not and am not the girl who is always being called pretty, gorgeous, cute, etcetera at school or even at cheer. As much as we’d all like that little extra boost of confidence, it never really made an impact on me. When I was in the sixth grade, in the thick of all the horrible friends thing, I was selected to model for a Canadian girls athletic wear company. It was like a dream came true. Despite my lack of experience, it was amazing. My photo was in the stores all across Canada and I was even on the home page of their website and their email for Valentines Day 2012. Besides doing some in-store mannequin work, I have not modelled at all after that and it is not because I didn’t want to. Five years later, being the next Kendall Jenner, or Cara Delevingne is still a secret dream of mine. An so for Christmas, my parents told me that as a present, they would sign me up for a six week modelling course in Toronto. My initial reaction was tears (obviously) but then the panic started sinking in. All of a sudden, I was so self conscious. In an instant, I wasn’t tall enough, or pretty enough, I was not confident or relaxed enough to be a model! I kept on thinking about every worst case scenario. I even had a small breakdown over this in Ikea, not my finest moment. This opportunity scares the crap out of me. It’s putting myself in a (well in my head) vulnerable position where I will obviously be judged. But, I still want to do it. I want to do it so badly that even though I’m terrified, I will go through with it. This is something that I’ve wanted for myself, for a long long time, and you never know how it could have a positive impact on my confidence. And even if I don’t become a Victoria’s Secret Angel, or walk in Fashion Week, it will be a risk I will take because it would make me happy.

I guess my overall message to you guys, is to be good to yourselves this year. I am definitely trying to do the same. Even though I don’t know any of you, whenever my phone gets a notification that someone read, liked, or commented on this silly little blog of mine, I well up inside, knowing that I am not the only girl in the world who feels this way, and that people actually like what I have to say. So talk about that book in public, wear that crazy outfit, ask that girl to sit with her at lunch (and commit to more than one day!), tell someone that secret, sing along to the album you love, post that picture on Instagram, take the risk, and do whatever it is that will make you happy, even if it takes a little courage to get there. Do one thing a day that scares you.

Best wishes. Always.

NiceGirl

Reading and writing and rambling

Hello everyone! I’m back, and man it’s been a while. You see, I promised myself that I would never be one of those people who would stop blogging for weeks on end and then apologize for it constantly. Even if I did not post regularly, I would just forget the formalities and jump right in. Nowadays, I am always getting little bursts of inspiration for blog posts, or story prompts, or ideas of things to talk about. They run their course in my head and then I never write them down. I am feeling pretty guilty right about now because of all of the thoughts floating around my head that I could have made some sense of and organized within my mind. So I decided to just sit down and write. Whatever come to my mind I’m typing and all of the nonsense I will edit out later.

A fact you may or may not know about me is that I want to be a writer. For as long as I can remember, that is one of the only things that has felt right. I have played around with the idea of journalism, screenwriting, being an author, being a professor, and everything in between and I am keeping all of those options open. I am one of those people who is okay not having a specific end goal in mind. Obviously I know I want to go to school and study English and that I would like to see myself in one of the professions listed above, but I am staying open minded about my future. I know girls who are so set on becoming doctors that they have not really given any thought to anything else. And for most people, having a definitive idea of what they want to do is reassuring for they know what they are working towards. But for me, I feel as if it is not the smartest route to follow because of all the doors you are potentially closing due to your close-mindedness. Once again, I am just trying to make my way through this world as much as you are, and I honestly know nothing about life. For being someone who outwardly looks like I’ve got it all together, I feel like a mess all the time. I know I have a little over a year before I have to start seriously thinking about university, but it is one of the many dark clouds looming over me at all times.

One of my biggest fears (besides the whole living by myself and having double the responsibilities thing) is that I am actually not good enough to do what I want to do. I fell in love with writing in grade nine when we started writing essays. I don’t know what it was exactly, but I instantly was drawn in to the formulaic five paragraph style and thesis writing that is literary essays. My favourite one was on the use of metaphors in John Green’s Paper Towns. I wrote this elective essay for fun about how strings, grass and vessels played an important metaphorical and literal role in the story. Six pages later, I was absolutely hooked. I handed it in to my teacher the next day and got it back at the end of the class. There was no pen marks except for at the top where a neat 100 was written. My teacher (who is still one of my favourites to this day) handed it back and simply said “that was beautiful”. His comment made my day and really gave me the confidence that what I had voluntarily written was actually not bad. This essay, although not the greatest (I reread it a while ago…yikes) is the namesake of my MacBook, Margo, and really what I credit my love of writing to. I have written several papers, essays, and assignments that I am prouder of since then, but this one will always have a place in my heart.

Now besides homework, this blog is the only place where I write recreationally. My school does not have a newspaper, but it does have a writing competition that I have always been too scared to enter. I grapple with the dilemma of wanting to become a better writer and putting myself out there, but never knowing what to write about. I know that I want to write a book someday, and I have several ideas but none that I have ever started. I can justify not writing it due to laziness or a lack of time, but in all honesty I know that I am not ready to write IT yet. I have thought about writing down the short stories that come to my mind and publishing them on Wattpad, but I have never just sat down and done it. Next semester I have my accelerated English class that I am looking forward to, as well as my yearbook course that will hopefully give me some insight about editing, publishing, and journalism. Next year, I have taken on top of accel. English, writer’s craft and literature which I am insanely excited about. As a part of my new year’s resolutions, I want to blog more and sign up for my school’s writing contest. I need to know if my presumed natural talent in writing is what I think it can become.

A couple of you who have been amazing enough to comment on my posts have said that I was a good writer. Those little comments mean the world to me, and regardless of what people say, sometimes feedback on social media can be really helpful to one’s self-esteem. I’d like to ask if any of you feel the same as I do. Do you want to write? Do you write? If so, do you have any suggestions for me? Tips, ideas about getting my stuff out there, places or people to write for, anything! I would be beyond grateful for any help.

As for reading, I have been in a pretty rough reading slump for about a month and a half now and it is slowly eating me up inside. After I finished reading Harry Potter in the summer (as I do every year), I have found it really hard to really get into something and want to read. I’m about a chapter away from finishing Alexandra Bracken’s book Never Fade, the sequel to The Darkest Minds. I really enjoyed TDM, but I’m finding it really hard to commit myself to Never Fade. I have to admit that I have been pretty swamped with school, and the only time I have to read is on my thirty minute long bus ride to and from school. When I get home, all I want is the mind-numbingness of Netflix to relax with (BTW, you all NEED to watch The Crown on Netflix it’s fantastic). I don’t think I will read the third book in TDM trilogy, but I might start on some classics seeing as though there is nothing that is really sparking an interest for me right now. I’m approximately 30 pages into Pride and Prejudice and after watching the movie I am pretty obsessed. Any-who, I will give it a try and see how it goes. If any of you have book suggestions I am gladly taking them!

Other than that, my life has been good. Besides hating my French teacher will every fibre of my being, I still love school and it is going well. On an exciting note, my sister and I learnt that we are getting Hamilton tickets for Christmas! We are over the moon excited even though we have to wait until August to see it. Also, Friday was the Gilmore Girls Netflix revival and all I can say is OMG. If you’ve seen GG, I am essentially the exact same person as Rory Gilmore, we even look alike and my mom was going to name me Rory (short for Aurora). The show means a ton to me and I was more excited for this than I am for Christmas. The revival was 6 hours of nervousness, happiness and love for my favourite TV show of all time. If you have not watched it, you should check it out!

Well, I guess that’s it. I hope you made it though my super rambly post easily. I love writing on this blog and I am going to make an effort to do so as much as I possibly can. If you have any comments, please please tell me, as you know it means a lot.

Ta-ta for now,

NiceGirl

What have I done?!

Happy fall! I have been meaning to update, but you know…school. I am honestly at the mercy of the assignments (there are more of them than there are of me)! About a month ago, I wrote this little snippet on the bus after school, and figured I might as well post it, then give you all an updated version, seeing as though my point of view has slightly changed. Here it is!

So, for those of you who follow my blog, you may have guessed that I am not either a) spontaneous, b) adventurous or c) fond of hanging out with people I don’t know very well. Well, the other in my politics class, one of my old teachers and the head of students council asked me if I wanted to go to a leadership conference with them in November. Dumbfounded, by being approached and offered, I immediately said sure. Why???? (we may never know) She gave me a permission slip and I took it home. That night, after the form had been signed and the cheque had been written, I started to freak out and contemplate everything. Firstly, none of my friends are going. Obviously I know the majority of the kids going because we were all in the same class last year, and some I do genuinely like, but it is really awkward from my perspective because we never hangout. Now, I feel like I’m going to have to force myself into their friend groups or just be alone. This whole ordeal is bringing back terrible memories from my grade seven and eight class trips. In grade seven, I was completely excluded from the other girls and was too shy and self conscious to not care. Instead of making my own fun, or just assuming that everyone there already liked me (they probably did), I was miserable. Because of this, I did not go on my grade eight trip. I ranted for about 25 minutes to my mom, who agreed with me on several points but then ultimately asked me “do you want to go?” And my initial answer was yes. You see, I was not able to go on this trip last year because I had a cheerleading showcase and could not miss the three days of school. The conference seems amazing and I really like trips like this. This conference is essentially a redo. A large handful of the same kids will be there and I am closer to them and more comfortable being myself around people I “put on pedestals”. I’m defiantly going (we’ve already paid), but I’m really anxious. All and all, I am not sure if I’m more nervous or excited about this trip.

Flash forward to today;

The leadership conference trip is two weeks away and I have decided, that despite my little insecurities, I am excited and really looking forward to going. We found out our rooms, and  I was not placed with anyone I was afraid of or hated (win!) but I was not placed with anyone I knew all that well. The one girl is someone I’ve known since kindergarten. We never really got along as kids, but ever since grade six, we have been absolutely civil. She is also really good at singing, so it’s probably good to be nice to her now if she ever becomes famous! No really, she is very nice and all is good. The other girl is someone I met last year. She was in my law class and is now in my math class. We don’t necessarily have much in common, but she is always nice to me. The other day in math, she leaned over and told me how excited she was to be in my room and to go to the conference with me. That was like, one of the best (and most surprising) feelings ever. It never really registered to me that someone who I wasn’t close with would look forward to hanging out with me. Anyways, she asked me if I would stick with her and I joyfully said yes.

I know that there will be moments on this trip where I feel really uncomfortable, but I’m looking at it as a chance to get to know more people and be more outgoing. These people are not scary and not better than me, and for the most part, they probably really like me. I’m really glad I took this risk (well, can you really call this a risk?), because it will make me stronger, braver and more confident. Well, thats all for my little rambles. I promise I will write a post after the trip (it’s three days so I will have a lot to write about!). And for all of you who feel really insecure and shy with people more outgoing and outwardly popular than you, I’m just the same. But don’t let that stop you from doing things that you think will make you happy. Man, now I sound like one of those cheesy quotes my mom sends me!

Do something brave.

Love, NiceGirl

Best friend material

Let’s talk about math. Do you remember in primary school, the day you learnt about fractions? Odds are you don’t, but if you missed that first, crucial lesson, do you think that fractions later on in your mathematic life would be slightly more difficult? Well that’s how I see making friends.

Now, as some of you might have guessed, I don’t have that many good friends. I blame it on fractions… well, not really. You see, way back when I was in kindergarten I became best friends with E. She was the polar opposite of 5-year-old me, brave and kooky and adventurous and wacky and fun. I have always idolized the extroverted, popular type when it comes to friends. All throughout grades K-4, she was all I ever needed. We hung out all the time, we were always partners in class and we even had our own made up language (all we did was add an f to the beginnings of words – creative right?) Anyways, I had grown accustom to relying on one sole person for all my friend needs. So little did I know, when grade 5 rolled around that E would have changed her mind about her friendship with ME.

Now, this is without a word of a lie what she told me (to my face) “You are just not best friend material”. This really really got to me. I was in grade 5, impressionable and recently low on self-confidence. Ever since that day I tried to make people like me, by being what they thought was “best friend material”. Along the way, I technically lost myself and became this really insecure version of myself who didn’t really have any friends.

Back to the fractions. Now what happened, was that since I technically “missed out” on the whole making friends thing when I was young (because I only thought I would ever need E), when I was in grade 5 and 6, it was really hard for me to fit in with the other girls (mind you that my school was VERY clique-y). Insert K into the picture. She was someone I had never been in a class with before, smart, outgoing, dressed like me, behaved (in essence) like me. Bam. It was like we were cut from the same cloth. We became friends in grade 5 and it’s safe to say that grade 5 me and K were the closest thing to best friends. Our friendship did not stand the test of time when we were in separate classes in grade 6 and 7. During this time, she became way more outgoing and popular than I ever was, and thus made new friends to fit the bill. The saying “people change” is so so so true. After my shy and awkward attempts to hang out with K 2.0 and her new posse of friends, I was once again faced with the same, exact, heartbreaking, confidence wrecking comment. You are not best friend material.

I have gotten this comment from two completely different people, during two different stages of my life and each one stung like nothing I have ever felt before. Flash forwards 4 years, and here I am, 16 years old and in essentially the same boat I was in in grade 7. For years, I have longed for the sisterly best friend who I can have sleepovers with, FaceTime after school, talk about nothing and everything and the universe with. Or just enjoy their company. I want a best friend who I don’t feel embarrassed to talk about my Harry Potter obsession with, but someone who will share it with me, or tolerate it without making me feel like I’m some geeky loser. I want to be able to share clothes and go shopping and have someone love and care about me as much as I know I can love and care about someone else. I want someone who I can be completley 100% myself around. All my life, I have read books, and seen movies and shows about best friends knowing, that people like that do exist. I want a friendship like Riley and Maya’s from Girl Meets World. I think know I am the poster child for best friend material.

The toxic means of my past friends has done nothing but corrode away at my self-esteem. I always thought that I was the problem. That there was something wrong with me. But now, although I am still working through this psychological damage, I know it is absolutely not me. I have this feeling, that one day, maybe it’s at university, or later on in life that I am going to meet my best friend and that will be it. (OMG I sound like I’m talking about a husband LOL) Once I meet my person, all my friendship hardships will seem as if they were bumps along the worthwhile road. I know there is no such thing as perfect, and I am not looking for it, but I will take close enough. I know that the day I meet my best friend, my person, I will become more confident, more relaxed and be able to have genuine fun. My anxiety will lessen and I will be making up memories for lost time.

Thanks to all of you who stuck through that, I’m not trying to be a Debbie Downer, but I felt the need to get this story out of my system. I hope that eventually, I will have more exciting things to write about. This is not the complete story, but complete enough for today. I hope that any of you who are struggling with friends know that there are people who feel exactly like you.

So in short, I am far from what I once was, but not yet what I’m going to be.

XO, NiceGirl

What’s in my backpack?

I don’t know about you, but I LOVE school. Why? I’m not so sure. It’s probably the combination of a daily routine, organization and my general sense of curiosity about the world. I also love that it gives me something to do everyday (I am currently suffering from a case of the summer vacation lazies). But, I think we can all agree that the best part of going back to school is getting new school supplies – well, besides new clothes that is!

So I’ve decided to do a “What’s in my backpack” post to tell you guys about my absolute favourite school supplies and what else I keep on me all day at school.

  1. Firstly my backpack is the Little America backpack from Herschel and it is HUGE! At my school, we carry our bags around all day because the school is so big, it would take too much time to visit your locker in between each class. Plus, this way I’ve got everything I need with me at all times! I love this bag because it is essentially a huge sac. It fits everything I need and it is very cute, mine is navy and white!
  2. Next is my MacBook Air laptop. I almost always have my Mac with me at school because a lot of what we do is online and because I am taking an online course. Okay story time: At the end of grade 10, I went to the guidance office to see my timetable for the next year and we realized that I had a gargantuan conflict with my classes. Long story short, after three appointments and some stress induced tears, the only way to keep my schedule how I wanted it was to take online gym. Yes you read that right. ONLINE GYM. It’s pretty much just glorified health class. It’s kinda embarrassing, but whatever.
  3. For my binders, I like to have one for each class (at my school, we have 4 classes each semester and a total of 8 in the year) and my absolute favourite tried and tested binders are the Five Star Flex Notebinders. Whoa man, these are the greatest invention ever. It is essentially a notebook, where the rings open and you can add paper and handouts into it. They come with little folders/pockets and the best thing about them is that you can fold back the cover like a notebook when you take notes!! That may not sound like a big deal, but trust me it is. These binders are flexible and thin and awesome. If you haven’t checked these out, I highly suggest that you do!
  4. During the school year, my agenda is my lifeline, and my favourite agenda is the Lilly Pulitzer large agenda. This will be my second year using a Lilly agenda and I am so so excited! These planners are hardcover and thick with a monthly calendar view and lines for each day of the week. Now I know that the patterns may not be for everybody since they are pretty bright, but it’s whats on the inside that counts ( I think they are really fun!) I write my homework/personal events in this baby everyday and go crazy with the coloured pens. Which leads me to…
  5. PENS! I am a huge fan of the PaperMate Inkjoy gel pens, they don’t bleed and they write crazy smooth. Although I use pens in my planner (and occasionally my notes) I am a pencil girl through and through. Commitment issues, am I right? Anyways, when it comes to pencils I’m not overly picky. I like to use the Bic Mechanical Pencils with the glitter in them. Then there are highlighters, the ones I love are the Sharpie highlighters that are really thick. Lastly in my pencil case I have a white eraser, a 15cm ruler and pink Post-It notes.
  6. My pencil case is one I got in Australia on vacation, so I won’t be able to link it for you. However, here are some other ones I have used or liked: Smiggle, Herschel, FiveStar.
  7. In addition to all of this, in the front pocket of my backpack, I have; a scientific calculator, a mini hairbrush, gum, lip balm, hand cream, band-aids and headphones. You know, the essentials!

This year I am going into grade 11, so I feel like I have this school supplies thing down pat. But if any of you have any school supply suggestions, I would love to hear them!! I hope that you liked this post and that you have a really great year at school!

Love you lots,

NiceGirl

Putting people on pedestals

Do you ever look at someone and say to yourself “they are so much better than me” just by looking at them or being around them for a while? Well, I have this problem. Offline, I am not a very self-confident person and I have this habit of putting people up on tall pedestals and diminishing my own self worth to practically dust. This does not help very much in the confidence department, as you may have guessed. This happens for people I see on the internet, people at my school, my friends, and I do have to admit my younger sister.

I have this thing where I second guess and doubt every single one of my choices. Not major choices, but trivial ones like picking a backpack or a computer or clothes. On several occasions, I have fallen in love with something (weather it be a purchase or an outfit or even the way I take notes at school) and the second I see someone else do it differently, I automatically assume that the way they do it is better. I then feel stupid and crappy because “I can’t do anything right, they are a better person than me so obviously their way is better”. Proceeding those thoughts, I ask my mom over and over again for reassurance until the point where she is annoyed and I feel slightly better.

This weekend, I felt like everyone around me was 50 feet up in the air or the social plateau and I was left on the ground. My sister had a friend staying with us for 2 nights while her parents were away, and I have never felt like this girl has liked me much. That shouldn’t matter right? She is 2 years younger than me and I am just her friends (cool? pretty? smart? fun?) older sister. I am no mind reader, so what do I know right? But, in true me fashion, I tried to impress her none of the less. I don’t think it did anything to help my case. This past weekend, my sister got a MacBook. I got one 2 years ago. Hers is newer than mine. I still strongly believe my computer is better. I still second guessed my decision and regretted it and felt sub-par. Same goes with her backpack. Ours are the same brand. I got mine first. I chose the one I liked the best. My sister and her friend have the same one. The same one as a lot of kids at my school. Once again, I had several moments of “maybe I should have gotten that one, it’s better. Why do I always pick the wrong things?”. It was mentally exhausting.

Sitting at home now with all of my new back to school clothes and school supplies, I love it all. I wouldn’t have bought it otherwise. But, I am terrified that when I get to school, a more confident person than I will have something different and I will automatically assume that they made the right choice and are one hundred percent better than me. I then deem myself a second-rate citizen and their pedestals rise up a few more feet.

I know that the solution to this is to just BE confident in my decisions, because odds are, there is probably a large handful of people who think what I do is perfect and try to act like me (seems impossible, but it’s true). I need to learn to be happy with my choices because they make me, me and not some carbon copy of every slightly popular or different girl at school. I am not a trendsetter, but I certainly don’t want to be a follower. My style is very different from what is “in” (think early, preppy Abercrombie and Fitch) and I have told myself that I am just going to embrace it and be myself. The people who are worth hanging around are the people who accept you with all your quirks and eccentricities. It is no use trying to be someone else to impress someone. Sometimes I need to take my own advice.

Confidence is a huge part of all this. If I had more confidence then I would probably find it easier to make more friends. I am 16 years old and I still haven’t gotten the hang of it. I know that when I find friends who I can be myself around, I will have less time to worry and stress and over-analyze every decision that I make. Or, they will find it completely adorable and not crazy or depressing and will help me realize that it is not worth wasting time over.

Anyways, that was my little rant/ramble/deep chat about my feelings. Although I did not want my blog turning into therapy sessions, I do feel better once I got it all out. You guys tell me, am I crazy? Or do other people feel this way sometimes?

You keep doing you!!! (I mean that in the best way possible. If you are reading this, I already think you are amazing. And pretty!)

Until we chat again,

NiceGirl

July favourites

Seeing as though my life has been pretty uneventful in the past few weeks, I decided to do yet another favourites post because, why not?

First things first, I have to talk about Harry Potter. On July 31st, Harry’s birthday, the script-book for the Harry Potter and the Cursed Child play was released. My mom, sister and I went to a midnight release party at our bookstore and I would have enjoyed it despite my terrible headache. I got the book and read it in three hours once I woke up that morning! I loved it. There were some aspects I found a little far-fetched, but in all honesty, I would read J.K. Rowling’s grocery lists and enjoy them. So after finishing the script, I had a twinge of post-Potter depression, and the only known cure (well in my books at least) is to reread the series…again. I started and finished The Philosopher’s Stone on the same day as The Cursed Child and then The Chamber of Secrets the next day and then The Prisoner of Azkaban the day after that. I almost forgot how entrancing that world is and I have found myself completely lost in it. I started the fourth book last night, but I think it will take me a little longer than a day to read it all. If you haven’t read Harry yet, you absolutely should. It will change your life.

Next, we have the peach green tea lemonade from Starbucks. OMG this is delicious! It tastes exactly like fuzzy peaches and it has been an unhealthy obsession of mine for the past few months. It is also amazing if you ask the barista to mix it with the mango black tea, thats how my mom likes it! Since I have been going through this stuff like crazy, I actually bought the tea bags so I can make it at home, it’s a WAY better deal and tastes just the same!

The only beauty-related favourite I have is the Formula X nail polishes, more specifically the MATCH mini set. I have crazy fair skin, and Formula X has made a set of 4 neutral(ish) polishes that compliment your skin tone. I obviously have the “light” set and I love all the colours, but my favourite is the pink! The formula on these is outstanding and whenever I wear them, my friends tell me it looks like I got them done at a salon.

All summer long I have been trying to find the perfect casual dress, and I finally found it! It is a navy blue and white striped sleeveless swing dress with a high neck and I just love it. The best part is that I got it on sale at Hollister for $15! I have worn it to the mall, to friends houses and out for lunch. I love wearing it with white Chuck Taylor’s and a denim jacket (if it’s cool out). I don’t think it is available anymore, but you can definitely find similar ones everywhere.

And last but not least, there is the Hamilton soundtrack. My sister got me hooked at the start of the month and OH MAN. For those of you who do not know, Hamilton is a broadway musical about Alexander Hamilton, one of America’s founding fathers done in hip hop music. Now, at first I did not think that I would be in to something like this, I’m not American, not into hip hop music and I have never really been into broadway. But after spending hours listening to and memorizing the songs, I am addicted. It is so smart and clever and funny, and I have actually learnt a ton about US history (even though it does not necessarily benefit me up here in Canada). I would probably give an arm and a leg to go see the show live. If you have not heard it yet, I would seriously advise being open-minded and giving it a listen!

So that concludes this month’s favourites. I hope you guys check out some of the things I have been loving! If you love any of the things that I have, feel free to mention it in the comments, I’d love chatting about any of it!

Until next time,

NiceGirl

 

 

Summer vacation!

I don’t know why I have been so hesitant to write another blog post, now I’m guilting myself into doing this completely knowing that once I start, I will wonder why I ever stopped.

My exams for school went extraordinarily well and I am anxiously waiting my report card in the mail. To be completely honest, I am kind of missing school. I love learning and the scheduling and routine, and right now since I’m on break I am completely lazy – although that is not the worst possible thing.

Which leads me into the next point. WAY back in February, I injured my ankle at a cheerleading practice. My physiotherapist said that is was a high ankle sprain and treated it accordingly. When the new cheer season started back up again in June, I was told that I could try and tumble again. But, when I did, it hurt the same, if not more from when I initially did it. So, I went to the doctors office and he scheduled me for an MRI. And let’s just say that the MRI was one of the coolest experiences ever. It was freezing cold and sounded like the dryer, but totally worth it! In short, I never had a high ankle sprain and what I do have is essentially severe bone bruising on both the medial and lateral sides of my ankle, as well as some torn ligaments. That means that my ankle almost fractured. My doctor has put me in one of those hideous AirCast boots and crutches for3 to 4 weeks and I am not allowed to put any wait on it. What a *great* way to start the summer (not). It also may wreck my plans to go to cheerleading camp in August. I went last year and it is one of my favourite places on Earth, which makes me very sad.

So far, I have not been able to do much (well, if you count the time I hobbled around an outdoor mall for 6 hours…) and it is brutal, but I am taking some well deserved relax time. In the span of a few weeks, I have re-watched all 6 seasons of Glee (no shame) and I am on the fourth season of Grey’s Anatomy. I was never planning on watching that show, but my sister convinced me to and now I’m hooked! I am planning on doing lots and lots of things this summer when my boot comes off, like (hopefully) cheer camp, baseball games, amusement parts, drive-in movies and swimming. I just get to do all the lazy, suntan (with terrible boot tan lines) and lounge thing for a bit. I call it decompressing.

On a more exciting note, I GOT MY BRACES OFF TODAY!! I know, yippee! I’ve had my braces for just under a year and I am really happy with my teeth, though they feel really slimy and weird. The orthodontist put in a permanent retainer on the inner part of my teeth and it is driving me crazy! I get my actual retainers on Thursday, so I am hoping he can tweak it so that it is not cutting into my young at all times. It may just be something I just have to get used to.

Book-wise, I just finished the “The Summer I Turned Pretty” trilogy by Jenny Han and it was so-so. I really liked the first book, but I would probably just stop there. The characters are cute and so is the plot, but during the second and mostly the third book, everything seemed cliché and rushed. Since finishing that trilogy, I have started “We Were Liars” by E. Lockhart and it is really interesting, so I will keep you posted! My TBR (To Be Read) list for the summer is mainly young adult contemporary books because they are light and summery and easy to read. My list consists of, but is not limited to: “Beautiful Broken Things”by Sarah Barnard, “Since You’ve Been Gone”and “Unexpected Everything”by Morgan Matson, “Eleanor and Park”by Rainbow Rowell and “Summer Days and Summer Nights” by Stephanie Perkins. As you may have been able to tell, I love to read!

So yeah, I think that is everything as of now I need to touch up on. My summer is still pretty chill up until I get my boot off (and until when my bestie comes back from vacation in Lithuania) so I’m not up to much these days. Netflix, online shopping, reading and baking (I make a mean snickerdoodle!) make up the majority of my days.

What are you guys up to this summer? Any exciting plans? Any book recommendations? I’d love to hear it all!

Lots of love,

NiceGirl

 

Random ramblings

Well hello again!

My life has been crazy busy since I last posted. I’m about 2 weeks away from my end of year exams and the homework is unreal (I probably should be studying instead of blogging, but whatevs!). I seem to have everything under control as of now though.

Well, not everything. My schedule for next year is a complete disaster. I went to the guidance office on Monday to switch around a class, but then the councillor told me that there was a conflict in my time table and my whole grade 11 year has been rearranged. After several appointments and rearranging, I pretty much have the same schedule that I wanted with one minor draw back. You see, I was supposed to take girls fitness (you know, like yoga and swimming and rock climbing) but that course conflicts with one of my compulsory courses and so my only other option – without messing everything up again, is to take online gym. Yes, you read that right. Online gym. Now, don’t get me wrong, it’s more like a health and nutrition course, but I will have to do some physical activity. This kinda sucks because I was really looking forward to fitness, but now I technically get a spare. I’m not sure how I’m going to like this course, but for now I’m staying optimistic. You never know, it could be really cool!

My little sister is on her grade 8 grad trip, and I’m actually missing her. Being an only child is weird. Believe it or not, I actually didn’t go on my grade 8 trip, which is kinda sad now that I see all the fun my sis is having via snapchat. Back in grade 7, I was having some friend issues (like they ever really went away), and there was an instance when they all decided that they did not want to room with me on the trip. When I was put in a room with some of them (remember, they were my friends), they asked to be moved because I was not a part of what they thought their perfect trip would be. Kinda crushing right? Anyways, the grade 7 trip was awful, so when it came time for grade 8, I decided right away that I did not want to go. I knew that it would not be the trip I hoped for it to be, so I stayed home, caught up on homework and TV and had a great time. If only things had been different…

I had my first cheer practice of the season last Thursday and it went well. I like a lot of girls on my team and I did not die of heat stroke or exhaustion (although I am still a little sore a week later). Standing tumbling on my somewhat healed sprained ankle was fine, but the running tumbling was still painful. I have practice again in 2 days and I am looking forward to it!

Book wise, I just finished reading the “Just One Day” duology by Gayle Forman. It was really good, although the second book seemed to lag a bit. I am just about to start the book Illuminae by Amie Kaufman and Jay Kristoff. My sister loved it and the format is really cool, it looks like emails and secret documents etc. instead of normal pages. You’re just gonna have to go check it out to see what I mean! Also, I recently heard that Zoella is going to write a third book in the Girl Online series. I am really excited about this because I really like her books. Yes, I am a big fan of hers, but I only got into her because of her books. I could relate to them so much and I love how cute and fluffy and happy the story is. Again, totally something you should go check out!

Sorry if today’s post seemed a little rambly and scattered, there has been a ton on my mind lately. I was actually wondering, what kinds of posts you guys would like to see me do? So far they have all been mostly about me (how self centred ;)), but I am up to try things like q&as, advice, book reviews, anything really! I hope to get some feedback.

As always, I love you all lots,

NiceGirl